Senor Pig Speaks

Hello, Dear Readers.  I’m feeling extra lazy today, so my friend Senor Pig has agreed to take on guest blogging duties today.  He’s a melancholy fellow, but very wise in the ways of Frugality. You know it’s funny, but when Senor Pig talks to me, er, you know, in my head, he sounds just like the late great Mr. Ricardo Montalban.  Huh.

Hola, mis amigos.  Me llamo Senor Pig. I live here, under el grande tick tock.

El grande tick tock was muy cheapo because it’s creator did not know el Roman numero por quatro: IV.  Sr. Pig, however, knows his Roman Numeros. Muy bien.

Meet mi novia, Hamletta.  Ay, que guapa.  I kiss her lovely cheek.  She was a gift from la hermana de la Mujer Frugal.  Muy bien.

Oui oui oui. Y si. Es verdad I am a melancholy pig. But in my dreams I can fly.  Alas, I am made of cast iron. I can only gaze in mute wonder at my friend, el Flying Pig Bird Feeder (purchased at 80% off at Kirklands).  Muy bien.

Here is a portrait of Sr. Pig as a chiquito piggito.  Ah, mis amigos how carefree I seem!  But what you do not know of is the evil Sr. Crocodilo of the Ravenous Jaws lurking under the serene waters.  You have never seen one of my girth swim so swiftly! But, I live to tell the tale.  I call this portrait “Sr. Pig: The Beginnings of Wisdom and Melancholy” (purchased at Kirklands 50% off, with an additional $5.00 discount because the frame is scratched).  Muy bien.

Alas! How empty I am inside! La Mujer Frugal refuses to employ  me for my intended purpose, Refuge of Loose Change.  She claims I am heavy enough as it is.  When el emptiness overwhelms me, I visit my friends the muy Happy Plaster Pig Family.  All gifts to La Mujer Frugal from friends and family. Muy bien.

I am a great admirer of those of my Pig brothers who have conquered the performing arts.  Here I gaze in admiration at that luminary of the screen Babe (Bebe).  Why do you not emerge from behind the glass, Senor Bebe? It must be lonely in that closet.  How I long to rub snouts with you. Ah, well, he seems happy enough. What is that you say Senor Bebe? You were a gift from Senor Martinez, children’s librarian?  Muy bien.

I, Senor Pig, am a cosmopolitan pig.  I enjoy friendships with “piggy” banks from many different walks of life.  Here I am with my good friend Senor Bob’s Big Boy.  Ah, how I envy your luxuriant pompadour of molded plastic.  Muy bien.

Adios, mis amigos Frugalitos.  I hope you enjoyed this visit with me.  Until next time, Vaya con Dios.