Reverse Snobbery - The Frugal World’s Dirty Little Secret

This is an issue I’ve been noticing for a while now.

It goes something like this:  People who have big houses, cars, nice things in general are bad.  From (some) Frugals’ points of view.

I’ve seen this sentiment expressed on other frugal blogs.  Bloggers and commenters will sometimes sneer at acquaintances latest major purchase.  Oh what a waste - that house is much too big, that car uses way too much gas (and, gasp! they financed it), can you BELIEVE she has the latest Coach purse?!!!  It’s scandalous!

And forget about it if a self-styled Frugal Blogger engages in any of this “forbidden” behavior.  Then the mud really starts getting slung - accusations of hypocrisy and irresponsibility fly like, well, flies.

This is what I think.  I think this sort of thing is reverse snobbery.  You know - I’m better than you  because I trash pick my furniture when you buy yours at the mall.

I’ve noticed this phenomena in other areas, too.  Many years ago when I was just starting out on my library career I worked with two very nice ladies.  They also happened to be reformed gang members.  They where able to leave that terrible life by discovering Jesus and becoming “born again”.  Good for them.  This was a very real, significant experience that truly turned their lives around and probably saved their lives.

But here’s the thing.  These two ladies had a habit of CONSTANTLY cornering me in the basement of the library and haranguing me on the topic of Jesus.  They were always trying to get me to go to their wild and wooly church, too.  It was very uncomfortable for me.  And to tell you the truth, I didn’t need this dramatic form of Christianity in my life.  I’m not trying to say I’m a better person than these ladies, not at all. Maybe I’ve just been luckier and of course I’m not perfect, so I have no right to judge them.  But by their actions, they were judging me and coming up with this conclusion: “DAMNED”.  But for sure, I’ve NEVER done anything in my life even CLOSE to some of the bad things these two women had done.  Yes, they were reformed and I truly believe that their newfound faith was very meaningful for them.  But I didn’t need to be “saved”.  I had never done drugs, beaten up other people, or slept around.  And I don’t plan on ever doing those things, either.

And this is the sort of thing I see sometimes in the Frugal world.  People with bankruptcies, excessive credit card debt, countless foolish financial decisions under their belt have finally seen the light.  They now understand that living this way is destructive and pretty much means a bleak future if they continue in their foolishness.  Yay! That’s great! So to help other irresponsible spenders see the light they decide to start a Blog describing how they have seen the light.  Then it seems to me that they then sometimes become very judgmental of people who have things that they now, in their new Frugal zeal,  regard as unnecessary and extravagant.  Yep.  It’s like chum to a shark to dangle a Coach purse in front of the newly Frugal.

But it could be that people who have some of the “finer” things in life have them precisely because they are frugal most of the time.  I try to stick to this philosophy, personally: Stay Frugal 80% of the time, so I can do what I want with joy  20% of the time.

I think it’s great if a person dreams of living in a 130 sq ft house, eat only what they grow, and walks everywhere.  But that’s not the only way to live the Frugal life.  Really, the possibilites are endless.

For some, Frugality is a means to an end, for others it is the end.  And for people like me it is sort of both.  I’m Frugal because it’s fun and challenging, but also because it helps me get the things I really want out of life.  There is no one way to be Frugal - the plethora of frugality blogs proves that.    I’m here to enjoy life and be happy.  So I’m going to try very hard to play nice.  That’s happy!