Cheap Weddings?

Well, wedding season is upon us and as anyone who has ever had (or contemplated having) a wedding knows, this can be  a very expensive proposition.

I had a pretty nice wedding, myself.  The big white dress.  The church.  The open bar with the bartender getting drunk and dancing around with an empty beer box on his head.  Nothing out of the ordinary.

I had originally wanted a very small, inexpensive dealio.  Then my mom and dad gave me a big chunk of change for the event, and things kind of snowballed from there.  As I understand it, snowballing is very typical of the wedding process.

Now I stand here from the perspective of having many years to reflect on my own experiences as a bride, a member of the wedding, and a guest.  And, boy, I wish I had done the small wedding.

My wedding was really beautiful.  But if there’s one thing I hate, it’s drama of which I am not the center.  And there was just too much of that nonsense going on that day (I understand that this also is rather typical of weddings).  Honestly, I really really really wish I had gone to Vegas.  After 14 years of happily wedded bliss, I see that the marriage is the important thing, not the wedding.

So that’s my considered advice.  Go to the Justice of the Peace.  If you want a little more razzle-dazzle for a bargain-basement price, go to Vegas.

Heh heh heh, ok, I know that for most people (girls) the above is just not an option.  So I’m going to draw on my years and years of wedding participation and guest experience to offer some money-saving tips.

1.  Make your own dress. My sister did this, and her dress was beautiful.  Of course, you do have to have some mad sewing skills to accomplish this, which she did.  Oh, by the way, she also made the bridesmaid dresses.

Her dress was a very elaborate ball-gown style.  Nowadays, very simple dresses seem to be the rage.  So those would be much easier to create.

2.  Buy your bridesmaids’ dresses. Say what?  How is that cheap?  Well, it’s not, but it’s thoughtful and kind.  Being a member of the wedding is an expensive honor.  If, as I did, you marry at a relatively young age, than it could be that you are not at the, ahem, peak of your earning power quite yet.  If you aren’t, than probably many people in your wedding party are not, either.

I did this. My sisters and I went to the nearest Nordstrom’s one day.  I found pretty, floaty, chiffony dresses - on sale.  My sisters looked beautiful in them.

3.  Hold down the numbers. The number of people in your wedding party, that is.  I had two, my sisters.  Don’t worry about offending people, because it is your special day.  The fact is, you are going to hurt lots of people’s feelings, so don’t worry about it too much.  Believe me there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.  Hurt feelings and weddings go together like peas and carrots.   But then again, lots of times people DON’T want to be in a wedding, but will of course say yes just to be polite.  Be sensitive to that (and maybe save some money).

Also, it has been my observation that most brides with large parties don’t even keep in touch with most of the people in their wedding.  If they’re not worth keeping in touch with, don’t bother asking them to be in your wedding.

4.  Head to the supermarket. For your cake.  My sister did this and saved a fortune.  I think this is one of the smartest money-saving moves she made.  I didn’t even know this was possible.  I paid for a very beautiful, very delicious cake from the caterer.  It was nice, but it was extremely expensive. I can’t even really remember what the darn thing looked like.

If I recall correctly (and I’m pretty sure I do) she got her cake from the Albertson’s supermarket nearest to her reception venue.  They delivered, too.  Good deal.

This might also be a good idea for your flowers, too.  It seems like these days, most supermarkets have floral departments.  It sort of makes sense that they have the volume buying power to keep the prices of flowers down, as well as groceries. A rose is a rose is a rose, whether you pay $100 for it, or $1.

Also, a well-established grocery chain is not likely to go out of business right before your wedding, leaving you holding the bag.  We’ve all heard the horror stories of fly-by-night florists (and bakeries) who take a bride’s money and run.

5.  Be your own wedding planner. When I got married, this industry was almost unheard of.  Or I should say, back then it was a service really available only to  mega-super rich brides. But now they seem to be de rigueur for even brides of the most modest means.

But why pay for this service?  Honestly, if you can make a phone call and click a mouse, you can plan a wedding.  Well, you might say, but Tessie, they save a bride time and stress.  I’m not so sure.  Maybe a little bit, but there’s still a lot of work for the bride-to-be to do, even with a wedding planner.

It could be that, like me, you’re just not into planning events.  Yes, I really hate that sort of thing.  But guess what - my sisters are mad party-planning geniuses.  Yay!  That helped a lot.

6.  That piece of tulle costs how much?!? Personally, I love a veil on a bride.  However, for the little bit of fluff that they are,  they are super expensive.  So maybe it would be a good idea to go veil-less if money is tight.  Most likely some serious money is going to be spent on an elaborate ‘do anyway, so let your crowning glory be your veil. Or stick some fresh flowers on top of your bridal noodle.  That’s pretty, too.

But I’m here to tell you that veils are pretty easy to make.  A plastic comb or head-band, some beautiful silk flowers, a hot-glue gun, and you’re in business (oh, don’t forget the tulle, which is cheap cheap cheap).

7.  Wear Your Mom’s Dress. I did this.  Luckily, my mom’s dress was really pretty.  A short-sleeved ball-gown with beautiful lace detailing.  By the time I wore it, it was 32 years old and had acquired a beautiful subtle aged patina.  Because, let’s face it, not every person looks great in blinding white.  Actually, probably most people don’t look good in blinding white.  Especially if you happen to be blindingly white yourself.

There was still a bit of cost involved in this, however.  It had to be taken to a professional tailor for some minor repairs, and professionally dry-cleaned.  But this was about $200.00 altogether as the dress was in really good condition to begin with.

8.  And last, but not least…..Don’t go into debt for your wedding.  This is a terrible way to start a marriage!

You may have to whip out that credit card on occasion, but pay if off at the first opportunity.

Even though I was not yet the proficient Frugal person then that I am today, I’m proud to say that my husband and I kept our wedding within our means. This was due in large part to my Mom and Pops.  Thanks Mom and Pops!

But it was also due to the fact that we had a really long engagement, like more than two years.  Many people thought this was weird.  But I say, why rush into anything?  Also, we were able to save quite a good amount during that time.  We had no financial stress at all when coming up with the money for setting up our (apartment) household.  But the sad thing is I could have done even better, and saved a down payment for a house, too.  But I was young in the ways of Tightwaddery then, and didn’t manage to save that down-payment until two years after our wedding.  Oh well.

We did have a corker of a honeymoon in Hawaii, though,  paid for completely with cash.

Good luck, wedding-planning brides-to-be! Many money-saving opportunities await you!