A Few Things I Would Never, Ever Do To Save A Buck

Just about every day I talk about things I do that (or at least I think) save me money.

But how far am I willing to take this?  Is there a line I would never cross to save a buck?

Yes.  I think there is. So here are some things I’m pretty sure that I would never do in the name of Frugality, even though I’m fond of watching my pennies.  One should never say never, but I’m going to go out on a limb here.

1.  Forage in the wild for food.  On the face of it this seems like a good idea.  Until you put my face on it.  I’m a suburb girl.  I could screw this up so badly. (This is a picture of some land for sale we looked at this weekend.  I bet there’s all kinds of yummy things to eat there.  But I couldn’t even tell you what kind of trees those are).

People who do this recommend getting a book out of the library, examining the illustrations very carefully, then going out into your nearest wilderness area and reaping the bounty that is there for the taking. Oh, boy.  All it takes is one misidentification, and that’s all she wrote folks. I don’t even know what poison ivy looks like.  This would just be asking for trouble.

Lots of people like to go hunting for wild mushrooms.  I’d like to do this too, because I love mushrooms, and they are expensive.  But no. I’m pretty sure I’d pick the wrong one.

There is only one edible “wild” plant that I can identify with any confidence, and that is dandelions.  And, heck, those grow in my own backyard.  But even so, I’m not going to eat those because my dogs pee in my backyard.  And I imagine that all kinds of animals are peeing in the forest, too.

2.  Say goodbye to TP. I have heard that some people recommend going with washcloths on this one.  And really, this could be workable, because it’s not any different than dealing with cloth diapers.  Which I would definitely use if I had any babies to use them on.

But I’m not a cute little baby.  Oh far from it.  So I’ll keep paying for the TP.

3. Yes to No Poo. Speaking of poo. I don’t think I’d want to abandon my relatively cheap Tresemme for a baking soda “shampoo” (followed by a  bracing vinegar rinse).

I can understand why people do this, and my hat’s off to them.  It is cheaper, and kinder to the environment. But my head itches just thinking about it. Wait a minute.  My eyebrows are itching, too.  That’s weird.

My hair is very curly, and my scalp is very oily.  I understand that there is a transition period when you begin the NoPoo process, where your scalp and hair get even more oily before things work themselves out.  No.  I just couldn’t take that.

4.  Take a hike. As in give up my car.  Hmmm.  I’m actually kind of on the fence about this one.  We’re a two-car family, though I don’t work.  Plus I have a motor scooter and an awesome bicycle.  Plus my car is paid for.

But what about when it comes time to replace it?  That won’t be for a long, long time though.  And you all know about my Camaro Fund. Really, it’s weird how attached I am to cars.  This bears closer examination.  But not right now.

I think if I REALLY had to, we could manage to get along with one car.  Heck, I know we could.  But the excuses: what if I need to take one of my dogs to the vet?  In a thunderstorm? Or what if I need to suddenly drive to California to see my family?  What if I had to get a job? Ok, let’s not get too crazy now.  I don’t know.  But I’d definitely give up my car before I gave up my TP.  It’s all about priorities, people.

5.  Buy-buy to Books. I’m a big library fan.  But I don’t think I could ever completely give up buying books.  As great as the library is, sometimes they just don’t cut it.  Yikes! Is that cheapskate book-lover heresy?  Well, I don’t care.  I worked in one of the largest public library systems in the world for fifteen years, and I still think that.

True book lovers usually have their little esoteric niches that public libraries, with their mostly general collections, can’t always satisfy.  So I’ll keep spending on books.  Though wisely, of course.

6. Dumpster Dive. This is hard-core frugality.  An entirely higher, maybe even Zen, level of Cheap. Like maybe you’d have to get a tattoo if you did this. And I don’t want to spend money on a tattoo.

I’m just not there yet.  When I hear about all the awesome free stuff you can get by taking the plunge (so to speak), I really wish I was.  But I think I have too many middle-class hang-ups to do this, man.  I freely admit it, though this might leave me open to the scorn of my frugal peers.

So there you have it.  I’m sure there’s more, but heck, it’s 5:00 in the morning.  I’m sleepy.  Have a great Frugal day everyone.